7 week update

    So I've been feeling a lot better lately. My abdomen is finally almost back to normal size and the fluid is about gone. Most of what I'm feeling now (tiredness and some nausea) I think are just normal pregnancy symptoms and not part of the OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome).  So it's really nice to be feeling better and to be moving on with life. We had another dr. appointment yesterday and everything looked good. My ovaries are still a little large, but baby looks healthy. We'll have another appointment in a couple weeks to check on it's progress.
   In the meantime, we've gotten the bill back from my ER visit I had....Yikes! So I started a new job this week. It is only 29 hrs. a week, but has the same type of hours as Jeremiah's school so I don't have to worry about how we are getting him to and from work! So it works out nice and will be able to help us hopefully, very slowly, start paying off all these medical expenses.
    So all in all we have been truly blessed. Thank you all again for your continued love and support, we really appreciate it!
    These are some silly pictures of some of the embryos that fertilized after the egg retrieval. They are now safely in a cryopreservation facility :)

OHSS and other news

 So last Sunday I went to the ER. I had really bad, sudden, on set  nausea. I was sweating everywhere and was all clammy and super weak. They gave me IV fluids and did an ultra sound. The ER doctor conferred with my fertility doctor and diagnosed me with ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome. So basically the fertility meds I was taking over stimulated my ovaries which caused them to swell, have more cysts and cause leaky blood vessels.
      The leaking blood vessels leak fluid into my abdomen making it swell, tighten and causes extreme nausea and vomiting. I went into the fertility clinic on Monday where they hooked me up to an IV for more fluids (being extremely dehydrated), and sucked the free flowing fluids out. This was repeated on Wednesday and Friday and most likely again tomorrow. There is no cure for OHSS, you just have to wait it out......which is extremely frustrating. The doctor said it could take days or weeks for it to go away. In the meantime, I can't do much of anything but lay with my feet up and try to drink electrolytes and protein. Luckily (I suppose) Brandon has had time off work, since we were supposed to be on our Oregon trip, and has been able to take care of me and Jeremiah.
      The OHSS lasts longer if you happen to get pregnant during the cycle because the hcg your body produces makes it worse. So guess what? We're officially pregnant! Which is totally awesome! But also means I will likely have to deal with this for a few more weeks :(

      Eventually the time between visits to tap the fluid will get farther apart, but for now it's still every other day. I do feel better after the procedure, I'm just afraid to find out how much it is costing each time. And my poor arms are covered in bruises from IVs and blood work.
      So any continued prayers for good health and healing would be greatly appreciated, especially since Brandon will have to go back to work later this week.

Embryo Transfer day

      So on Monday we went to the clinic to have an embryo transferred. This was a much easier and less painful procedure. The worst part was having to wait with an extremely full bladder. They tell you to come with a semi-full bladder so that things are easier to see on the ultrasound when they do the procedure. But how do you know when it's "semi-full"?! And then our dr. happened to be behind schedule so things got painful and I had to take a little off the top....twice. And then of course during the procedure they are pushing down on your bladder with the ultra-sound thing, so that was awesome. But in the end it all went well. Brandon got to be in the room for this procedure and we both got to watch as they put in a little embryo (well, technically blastocyst). When the procedure was over they had me lay flat for 15 minutes while we listed to the silly bird chirping nature sound timer.

Waiting in the waiting room

Waiting in the procedure room

ultra sound of embryo in my uterus

Laying flat for 15 min. after procedure

        I have since been resting the last two days (what they refer to as your "princess days"). I was told I could make a sandwich and shower but nothing else. So I've watched a lot of Netflix and napped :) I had a couple awesome sisters from my ward bring me dinner both nights (Thanks Amy and Amanda!). I am looking forward to being able to get up and move around more tomorrow. I'm still supposed to take it easy, but can resume regular daily activities.
        I'm starting to feel nervous now. I'm at the point where there is nothing more I can really do and just have to wait and hope for the best. Brandon's and my 7th anniversary is next week and we are taking a family trip, so preparing for that should help take my mind off things for a little bit, but I'm anxious to know if everything we've been doing for the last few months will be a success or not. So keep those prayers coming! Love to all!

Embryo growth

     So today I got a call with the 3 day assessment. All 22 embryos are still growing. By this time they should be between 6-10 cells, which they all are! I have one with 9 cells, eleven with 8 cells, four with 7 cells and six with 6 cells. So the embryo transfer is scheduled for Monday evening :) After that I will have to rest for the next two days (what they call my "princess days") and 10 days later I'll have to have blood work done to see if I'm pregnant or not. So lots of prayers and good thoughts are appreciated as we get closer to this becoming a reality. Thank you for all your support!

Egg Retrieval Day!

So I took the trigger shot the other night. The injection sight turned red and was pretty soar for a couple days. But it seemed to work. They make you take a home pregnancy test the next morning to make sure it did. So that is what this photo is. Not pregnant yet, but HCG medication I took in the trigger shot worked.





 Yesterday I went in for my egg retrieval. I have to say that I was a little anxious and nervous. I dropped Jer off for a play date at a friends house (Thank you Jessica!) and Brandon and I headed up to the clinic. We checked in at 11, paid the anesthesiologist fee and waited for about 15 minutes. They called me back about 11:25ish where I got to put on a lovely hospital gown and they hooked me up to an IV.

What they collect the follicle fluid containing the eggs into

Procedure room

My Dr. came in and talked to us for a minute before the IV kicked in and I was out. The procedure took about 30 minutes and they were able to collect 28 eggs :) When I woke up I was still groggy and in a fair amount of pain. So of course that is when my loving husband decides to take a picture......


They gave me the lovely pregnancy Tylenol which surprising actually did help. Afterwards we went and picked up Jer and I came home and rested for the rest of the day. It took a little while to fall asleep last night (trying to find a comfortable position that didn't hurt), but eventually, with the help of a supportive pillow, I was able to sleep until early morning
.

Resting in bed

My resting buddy

All set up for some good rest

    I got a phone call this morning with the fertilization report telling me that of the 28 eggs they retrieved 22 of them fertilized normally. So that's awesome news. They will call again in a couple of days with another report of how they are doing. Some may fall off over the next few days but with the high number I have we should definitely have some good options for the transfer.
    I am feeling a little better today but am still moving pretty slowly and have no plans to go out. I think if I would have thought a little more about the procedure I would have known better how I would feel afterwards, but I didn't. So I've been in a lot more pain and it is taking longer that I thought it would. The good news is that the embryo transfer next week should be a much easier and less painful procedure. So the hard part is over.
     Until then this will be my new daily routine. I don't have any more injections but they added 3 new medications. One is an antibiotic and the other two are hormones to prepare my uterus for an embryo. The other 3 I've already been taking are the prenatal vitamin, baby Asprin and the Metformin (for my PCOS).

Ultra Sounds

  So I went in for an ultra sound yesterday and today to check the growth of follicles. Yesterday when I went they told me that it looked like I had several follicles maturing and were getting close to the size they should be. Today I went and did the ultra sound and again they looked like they were developing nicely and the lining of my uterus looked "textbook", which means awesome :) They also took some blood and were able to get it on the first poke this time! This evening the clinic called me with my "trigger" instructions (one day earlier than what my calendar says). So at exactly 11:30 PM I will give myself the HCG "trigger" shot which will help to release the eggs in preparation for retrieval exactly 36 hours from the trigger shot. Which means that I will be going in to the clinic on Wednesday for my egg retrieval!
     It's all becoming very real. It's gone by really fast so far (probably thanks to all the awesome family I had visiting for 3 weeks) and I haven't really felt hormonal-y crazy. But perhaps that is because my hormones were so out of whack for many years that now that they are regulated I don't feel as crazy. The meds I started a week or so ago do make me tired and I feel nauseated every day in the later afternoon early evening hours, but it passes. As the follicles have grown the last few days my lower abdomen has felt bloated, heavy, a little cramp-y here and there, so it will be nice to have those released in a couple days.
     So upcoming events will include the embryo transfer next week sometime and then 10 days later we will get to find out if it all worked. It's crazy to think that I could be pregnant so soon. We've been waiting for this for about 3 years now and it's finally happening. Thanks again for every one's love and support! Continued prayers and good thoughts are greatly appreciated and welcomed! :)

What my daily morning routine has looked like for the past week or so.... 3 different meds, some having to be mixed together first for 2 injections.

More blood work

   Went in this morning for more blood work. I was expecting a quick in and out, but it took three nurses and 4 pokes before they were able to get the one vial of blood they needed. So not the best way to start my morning, but the blood work came back perfect, so things are right on schedule. I will have some ultra sounds done soon to check on the development of the follicles.
     I'm feeling pretty good. The meds seem to make me tired and feel sick in the afternoon/evenings, but it's not as bad as I expected....at least so far :)

Mini Photo Session Fundraiser!

So one of my awesome sister's is in town for the week and is helping put on a fundraiser Saturday July 18. If you or someone you know are in the Provo or Utah County area please check this out and share!!!  Thank you!

Update

    So a few weeks ago I went to my shot class which was very helpful. I started my first injection a couple weeks ago and am starting the second injection of two other meds today. I still have a little hesitation each morning when I have to give myself a shot, but it isn't too bad. It's more the thought of giving myself the shot than the actual shot itself that causes that initial hesitation.
     I had my baseline ultrasound earlier this week. There were still two small cysts on my ovaries (one on each) so they had to run some blood tests. But they called back later in the day to say to keep to my schedule. So I guess they aren't going to be a problem at this point. So that's good news.
     My next up coming appointment will be for more blood work in a couple weeks to make sure the meds are doing what they are supposed to be doing. So in the mean time I've been enjoying lots of time with my family from out of town!

We are having another yard sale fundraiser on Saturday to help pay for our  In-Vitro Fertilization. It looks like good weather (perhaps a little hot, but at least we won't be rained on this time :)  We will also have delicious treats and popsicles for sale. Jer has also really been wanting to have a lemonade stand, so we may let him do that too :) Come join us! And as always thank you so much for all your love and support!

Medications are in!

It's starting to get real. I ordered my medications last week and they came on Friday!

Brandon and I started our z-pak antibiotics yesterday. I have my shot class tomorrow morning to go over how to give myself the injection medications. I will start the first injections in just a couple weeks. I'm not going to lie, it makes me nervous thinking about having to give myself a shot. I do alright at the doctors when others are giving me the shot, but just the thought have having to do it myself kind of gives me anxiety....no matter how small the needle might be. So we'll see how that goes. 

Plan a Care Visit

   

   It's been a crazy few weeks but things are going well. At the end of May I had my water ultrasound to get a better look at my uterus. Everything looked great and healthy! I've been on a the birth control pills to help regulate my cycles and the metformin to help with the PCOS for about 3 1/2 weeks now. I'm starting to not feel as queasy from the meds but they do make me tired (like I need a nap every day and still want to go to bed early).
   Earlier this week I went back for my plan a care visit. They took some blood and went over the schedule of everything we have to do. It's all outlined in an organized, color coded calendar :) It's a very involved process, so it's nice having it all outlined for us. I'll be ordering my meds in the next few days and will start everything next month!

 
    In the meantime, we are keeping busy. Brandon has been working a lot of double shifts to help pay for the treatment and I've been attending some summer teaching conferences. So life is really busy, a little hectic but going well. Thank you again for all the love, support and prayers! We really appreciate it!

     So we've officially started our IVF journey. The appointment at the fertility center yesterday went well. Everyone was very nice and helpful. We got to talk to our doctor about our issues and what we've already tried and tests that were done. We learned a couple different things from the visit. First the remaining tube that is blocked is most likely the result of a cyst I had removed from it during the ectopic removal surgery a few years ago. We also learned that I have PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome), which essentially means I have a bunch of little cysts covering my ovaries because I haven’t been ovulating and my hormones are all out of whack. Which would explain why I've felt more “crazy”, my cycle has been irregular, plus the weight gain and difficulty to lose weight since the surgery. So as much as that all kind of sucks, it’s nice to know there is a reason for them.  So today I started two different meds. One to help start regulating my periods and another to help balance out my hormones.

       I have an appointment scheduled for next Wednesday to do a uterine water ultrasound to make sure my uterus is healthy and normal and then another appointment on June 8 with our IVF coordinator to go over a care plan. Brandon got his blood drawn yesterday to run some tests and he will have to have a semen analysis done. But we've got the ball rolling.

        The biggest obstacle will continue to be the cost. We got a break down of the costs yesterday at the appointment. Our insurance will help cover some of the diagnostic stuff but nothing for the actual infertility treatment. The Cycle fee is $7,900 but then you have to pay for all the meds separately which ranges anywhere from $3,000-$6,000 plus the cost of the Anesthesia ($350) when they do the egg retrieval. Then there is the cost of freezing the eggs for future use ($750) and the cost of storing them ($500) per year. And the money all has to be paid up front before you start your first cycle. So we’ll have to figure that out. But we are really excited to finally have some answers and a plan. It feels good to be doing something instead of just waiting.

          Thank you again so much for all your love and support! We really appreciate it!

     Thank you all who helped out with our yard sale! Despite the rainy weather we had several people come and support us. Thank you to all who donated items, made treats to sell or stopped by yesterday. We really appreciate your thoughtfulness and generosity! We were able to raise a few hundred dollars! So Thanks you so much!
     I forgot to take pictures of the before yard sale but here are some of the afters:) Our poor little rained on sign and all the left over items. There is still a lot of stuff left that we may need to have another sale to try and get rid of it ;) Thanks again everyone!

Saturday's Yard Sale Fundraiser

Despite the forecast of rain for our yard sale on Saturday we will still be having it! We will just move it all underneath our patio/carport instead of being in the front yard. We will  have yummy treats for sale and if it's cold, probably hot chocolate too! Hope to see you there!

Yard Sale Update

     So along with everything else mentioned in the previous post, my husband will also have a little table set up for Williams Off-road Lighting LED lights for sale. So if you or someone you know is into off-roading or you would just like to replace some of the bulbs in your non-off-roading car with LEDs come check that out, or you can visit his facebook page: Williams Offroad Lighing

     Also, you will be able to pay for yard sale items with either cash or PayPal! :)

Yard Sale Fundraiser!

We are excited to have our first fundraising event! We will have a variety of different items to sell including furniture, clothes, baby items, books, movies, kitchen appliances, etc. We will also be selling delicious baked goods and have a little bounce house set up for children 5 and under to play in for $1. Please spread the word and we hope to see you there!

Examples of items for sale

Happy National Infertility week!

Why I want a brother or sister :)

My journey so far

    Growing up in such a large family and having older sisters with kids, we've always seemed to be a very fertile family. I had the mindset that our family had to try to NOT get pregnant. But early on in my youth and early adulthood there was always a little thought in the back of my mind that I would have trouble getting pregnant. I usually brushed it off because of the ease of pregnancy with my sisters. I told myself it was a silly thought and probably one just for want of attention.
     My husband and I got pregnant with our first son pretty quickly. I again pushed aside the thoughts of infertility. I had a beautiful, healthy little boy, no need to worry. Even when we were ready to have another baby it didn't take very long to get pregnant. I was so excited. But that excitement was short lived.
     I started bleeding a week or two later. It was a Sunday and I was at church. I wasn't feeling well and felt some spotting so I went home after the first hour of church. By the time I was home it turned into a full on menstruation. I just sat there sobbing, heartbroken. I had lost my baby.
     Being only a few weeks pregnant and bleeding out as much as I did, I figured the "miscarriage" would/had come out on it's own. It was a week or two later laying in an ER hospital bed I learned I was still technically pregnant but that the egg had implanted in my fallopian tube and as it grew it ruptured the tube and I began bleeding internally. I was taken immediately into surgery where the ruptured tube was removed and the bleeding was stopped. The surgery went as well as could be expected and I was told that even with one tube, if I hadn't had trouble getting pregnant before, I should still be ok. It might take slightly longer because I only had the one tube now, but it should still work fine. So I didn't worry much about it.
     Six months went by and we still had not been able to get pregnant. I went back to the doctor and he started me on Clomide. I took it for 3 months, each month hoping and praying that period wouldn't come but always ending in lost hope and devastation. The meds messed with my hormones and I felt irritated and annoyed all the time. They made me gain weight and I didn't like how I felt. So after the third month of loss I decided I needed a break from trying to get pregnant. It was too emotionally difficult to face and deal with. Each time I started my period it was like losing a baby all over again, even though there wasn't a baby to lose. So I was going to take some time to just enjoy the family I had, spend time with and love my little boy because he wouldn't always be little.
     It was a couple years later when I finally decided I was ready to start looking into the possibility of trying to get pregnant and figuring out what was going on. It was probably also in part due to my five year old repeatedly saying that he wanted a brother or sister, and I've wanted that for him too! During those couple of years we had moved so when I was ready to try again I went to my family doctor. She order an HSG test, where dye is inserted into the uterus and tubes and x-rays are taken to see where it goes. The test showed that the remaining tube was blocked at the end near the ovary. So when the result came back in she told me I'd need to go see an actual OB/GYN to see what my options where.
     Not having been able to get pregnant for so long I kind of assumed a blocked tube was the issue but the confirmation of it made it all real. There was a problem and we wouldn't get pregnant on our own. The realization of actual infertility was again heartbreaking and overwhelming, so much so that I wasn't ready to take that next step of meeting with another doctor to discuss options for another 9 months. It was like I needed that time to grieve again for my loss of fertility.
     When I finally did go see an OB/GYN about my issues she said that if the tube really is blocked then IVF is really our only option because of the chance of more scar tissue blocking the tube if surgery was attempted and it wasn't really worth it. She ordered another HSG test to make sure the tube was blocked because sometimes the tube can spasm when the dye is inserted and look like a blockage, and if by any chance that is the case we could try some other tests and medication to help us get pregnant. But the HSG test again showed the blockage on the upper tube by the ovary. So we are now scheduled to meet with a doctor at the fertility center to move on to the next step.
     I feel really good about pursuing IVF. I'm most concerned about how we will pay for it, but feel this is the right path for us right now. I feel really optimistic and hopeful about the possibility of being able to have another baby, something I haven't felt in a very long time.
     Not long after losing my ectopic baby I had a very distinct impression that there was a little baby waiting to join our family. It was a huge comfort in the beginning. Over the years the impression had faded a little and I often wondered how long it would take or will it ever really happen. I'm now feeling much more confident about it and pray that we are able to bring him/her into our family one way or another.
     One of the issues I've dealt with in coming to terms with my infertility is not feeling "infertile" enough. Like, "yes I have trouble getting pregnant and my tube is blocked but it might be easily fixed with surgery, so I'm not really that infertile. I know so many people who have worse issues and have gone through so much. I have one kid. Some people don't even get that. I'm not as infertile as that so I don't really belong in their 'club'". It's a dumb comparison I know, and infertility on any level is hard and heartbreaking whether you have a child or not, whether your issues can be fixed or not. But that's the craziness that went on in my head at the time.
     I share all of this because I want my readers to know where I'm coming from and where I'm hoping to go. I have been very blessed in my life with a loving, supportive family and have so much love to share with another little baby.